We All Loved Cowboys

Review

I read this for my Small Press Book Club. In a recent view, I proclaimed, “three stars is good,” and in general this is true. However, this is not a “three stars is good” three stars. This is a, “I have no idea what to rate this book as” three stars. I found it mostly inoffensive, but also not compelling or engaging at all. There are some passages that read to me like white noise, words on a page without meaning, meandering. Occasionally, there is an interesting line. But overall, I leave the book not knowing what to do about it.

For a while, I wondered if I was bored because this is a lesbian will-they-won’t-they sort of book, if you can even call it that. I, a mostly gay man, don’t find a lot to grab on to. But I am empathetic, and can see the familiarity and the pangs of longing and heartbreak and vulnerability, so I don’t think it’s that. What I think is, it is a relationship that I don’t understand. I feel like we don’t get a sense of why Cora and Julia are attracted to one another. The author describes physical traits a few times, but as a person Julia is sphinxlike.

Not until later in the book do we learn a bit of Julia’s backstory, but we learn it at the same time as our narrator. So… Why is Cora so interested in Julia? Why is Julia engaging in this sort of confusing behavior towards Cora? I don’t need it spelled out, by any means, but I want to at least understand what they see in one another. Perhaps it’s there and I just missed it!

There is an interesting encounter in the book around Julia’s willingness (or unwillingness) to kiss Cora in public. One such is this:

Julia looked in every direction, no one, no one, no one, no one, then she leaned over the gear shift and gave me a kiss.

I found this pride vs. shame discussion that occurs at times throughout to be interesting, though unfortunately a little underdeveloped and not quite resolved. Then again, little in this story is resolved. Perhaps that is a reflection on life itself. Anyway, pride v shame, the book does a good job of showing how multidimensional these things are. Cora is not proud of Julia because she’s hot or because they are in a queer relationship, but because she was “hard to win” as Cora narrates (I am a little concerned about that, but whatever). Similarly, while Julia seems somewhat ashamed of her potential queer identity, overall she seems more self-conscious and withholding than shamed. Guarded.

I’ll be interested to hear what others think about these two as a couple.

There are some other good bits about rural v. urban (though very little), and what keeps someone in a certain place. Anchors. All of these are interesting, but I felt like nothing was developed or examined. Instead, it’s a roadtrip book with some relationship stuff that kind of doesn’t go anywhere or, as far as I can tell, have anything to say.

As an aside, my copy had several typographical errors. Multiple instances of whole words simply missing, a time when italics were clearly applied a character too early, and other weird things. The writing itself I found mostly fine, with the occasional bizarre construct (“don’t ask me why” recurs, why?). Overall inoffensive but also unremarkable.

For 196 pages of this 196 page book I wondered what the title has to do with it, as there are no cowboys. It is taken from the last sentence of the book. Why does it come up, and what does it mean in relation to the couple in the story? Your guess is as good as mine!

Notes

p24 - Seemingly, the disadvantage of growing up in the interior is that you, or your parents, might be the topic of discussion in every well-lighted dining room within a three-mile radius. (TB: much to relate to for folks who grew up rural anywhere else in the world.)

p47 - Perhaps I was in love again, and worse, without the slightest idea what my chances were.

p64 - Young Hemingway fans walked the banks of the Seine clutching blank moleskines. (TB: took a tough stray here but I deserve it.)

p69 - I had always wanted to live in Paris. I wasn’t enjoying my journalism classes at all and, what’s more, Julia had gone away. So I moved to Paris. (TB: interesting idea here about anchors – what keeps you where you are?)

p114 - …damn it, sometimes I do see a message where there is no message. (TB: me too, Cora)

p121 - The lightest bit of physical contact is a victory in certain relationships.

p159 - Julia looked in every direction, no one, no one, no one, no one, then she leaned over the gear shift and gave me a kiss. (TB: pride v. shame – multidimensional. Same page, a word simply missing from the text on the last line - so many typographical errors in this book!)